I have this girl. This five year old, tea party planning, sweet, princess curtsying, letter writing, ballet dancing, fantastical story telling, sassy, clothes designing, pastry baking, Jesus loving girl.
She has changed my life - she made me a mother. She was my "easy" child. The first born. She was advanced in almost everything as a baby, speaking in full sentences by 18 months, writing her name before she was three. She is smart and brilliant and challenging. I often have to remind her the I am the mother, that I am in charge and we have many talks about obedience (apparently she gets this from yours truly - just ask my mom!).
She made me become an intentional mom. I realized that this girl would never be satisfied with the worlds standard of child rearing. She wanted to be challenged and stimulated. She has a strong will, a righteous fervor and a zeal for life - I needed to foster those traits...find a way to bring out the very best in her. But most importantly I realized that I wanted to reach her heart. I wanted to build Godly, noble character in this girl - this daughter of mine.
I have failed so many times...At times, I have focused too much on the outside and not enough on her heart. I have placed my own insecurities and weaknesses onto her. Oh, I see so much of myself in her and it is often the hardest to parent the child who seems to magnify all of your own sins and struggles. Sometimes I give in too much, sometimes I am way too strict. I am so thankful for grace. Mostly, I am thankful for the way that this girl has challenged me to go deeper and deeper to seek the heart of God for me and my daughters. Learning more and more about the character of a Godly woman - and how that training starts from the very beginning. The best way for me to raise this girl - is to model what I want her to be.
Our culture is filled with little girls full of attitude, selfishness and vanity. I want to raise up girls full of gentleness, kindness and goodness. Girls that are courageous, hard workers and have servant hearts. I want to enjoy her innocent girlhood dreams. They were once my dreams...and some of them still are my dreams. I want to remember what it was like to dream of faraway kingdoms and extravagant parties and fields of wildflowers that never end. God has given us - girls - the ability to dream beauty into reality. We can take the simplest of things - a dandelion - and see the beauty, wonder and mystery of the wish that drifts away in the breeze.
She is a gift...I want to celebrate her dreams, sharpen her mind and capture her heart for God. I pray that I can be the ultimate example to her of what a women after God's heart looks like. I pray that I can let go of the "me" I see in her...the expectations of a recovering perfectionist mom...and let her be who God created her to be. Right now, she is simply this wonderful, enchanting, whimsical girl.
Oh how I love and adore this girl.
If you enjoyed this post, be sure to check out: The Beauty of Boyhood
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