We talk often about how fast the time flies by. When raising children, time seems to move at lightning speed. As I pondered my oldest daughter today, for some reason I had a "flash forward" moment in which I was envisioning her all grown up and getting married. My stomach turned and my heart squeezed at the thought of it, and I am thankful that it was just a passing thought and not my reality yet. But it did get me thinking...
My daughter wearing my Wedding veil recently :)
My daughter is five and a half years old. If she were to marry at twenty (like I did) or even just move out and start her own life at that point, then we are one quarter of the way there. How much time have I wasted? If I have twenty years (maybe a little more, maybe a little less) to raise this girl of mine - I am actually a good chunk of the way into it already. How much time have I wasted?
How many play dolls with me moments have I been too busy for?
How many mommy, watch me poses have I simply ignored?
How many boo-boos have I "you're okay"ed and failed to kiss?
How many deep heartfelt questions have I missed in my busyness?
How many "stop it" commands have spewed out of my lips?
How many hurry ups have filled our shopping trips?
How many one more story's have I squashed with "not tonight"?
How many silly matters have I turned into a fight?
How many joyful laughters have I shushed out of worldly pressure?
How many I love you, Mommy's have I forgotten to treasure?
We are in a race against this ticking clock of childhood - never knowing when it might be the last bedtime story, tuck-in or tickle fight. The last "Mommy". The last kiss in public. Our children are growing and changing right in front of our sometimes oblivious eyes. May we notice more, play more, listen more and enjoy it more. May we stop being so "busy". I don't want to waste the next 15 years. I want to be able to look back without regret - there will be mistakes and sinful moments and lots and lots of grace - but mostly, I hope that there will be pillow fights, and flour covered counter tops, and forts taking over the living room and endless stories being told. I want there to be laughter and love.
I want to stop wasting time.
How about you?