I see you.
I know you.
I've been you.
I am you.
I see you at the birthday party sitting by yourself. Tending lovingly to your children, with a deep longing in your eyes. You gaze at the moms on the opposite side of the room, their arms waving, laughs bellowing and you think, Why won't they talk to me? What don't they like about me?
I know you sit at home some nights and cry, wishing that you had just one friend that you could share your life's story with. A friend you could call when life is overwhelming, or when you've had a bad day. A soul sister...a kindred spirit.
I've been there, taking everything personally. Assuming that everyone is talking about you or is against you. You wish that they would invest in your life. You wish that they would think of you. But then again, you don't like yourself very much - so why would they?
I am you. I aim to always please. I say 'yes' far too often and want everyone to like me. I internalize everything you say, and am way to introspective. I assume that I am always the one at fault. I weigh my words and go over them a million times before I speak or write. I struggle to let it go, and want to talk about it for hours and hours.
But then I am reminded - I am not her. I am not that woman. The enemy might want me to believe that I am - but who I am is so much more than a people pleasing, non-confrontational, introvert. I am daughter of the most high King. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend. I am a singer. I am a writer. I love decorating. I love taking pictures. I love baking cookies. I like to have dance parties in the living room with my children. I am a determined person - I endured 50 hours of labor to birth my baby girl. I am so so many things...
My value is not measured by how many friends I have or whether someone talked to me. My value comes from the One who created me with the same hands that spun this world into existence. He says I am valuable enough that He give up His son's life for me. My worth is not determined by saying 'yes' enough times or by how carefully I crafted the words on this very page. I am worthy of love and blessing only because of His unbelievable grace. He says I am worth saving, worth redeeming, worth eternity.
You are who He says you are. Nothing less. Do you see the beauty in His masterful creation each day? He didn't create a "dud" when He formed you in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don't cheat yourself into believing the lies this world so easily hurls at you. Stop depending on anyone else for your happiness and joy. They will always disappoint. Jesus never will. He wants to wrap you up in His tender goodness and sweet grace. Rest in Him and know that who you are is summed up by these three words...You are His.
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." Luke 12:6-7